the new trend?

hmm... apparently, there's a lot of sugar mamas out there proudly parading their toyboys & some moneyboy scouting for new clients. and this occur in an open environment. and it seems to happen that some of the toyboys are sponsored by more than 1 cougar. and trust me, they look no where near a milf.

went for late suppper @ NZ klcc on friday night. bumped into an ex schoolmate. mula2 mcm segan nak tego, sbb die dgn a group of friends, tp on the second thought, tego jer la, sbb for all u know, x jumpe lagi. die pun dh makin stylo skrng!!

it's good to know the wherebouts of ur former classmates... especially when they have their own career that they can be proud of.

tennis & such

yesterday was pretty hectic, went for a tennis match after many months of hiatus. it feels good to put on my tennis shoe & hold on the racket back. but my serve is pretty poor these days. need more practice to keep in shape.

then, later that night, with several friends, we went to hartamas square for dinner. the funny thing was that i wore a plain red shirt which happened to be the uniform attire for the waiters there. so, on several occasions, i was mistaken as a waiter!!.. hahah

panas

one thing that i notice since coming back is that the weather is a bit too hot!. rasa mcm dehydrated pun ade. to a point when i go out, i'll always bring along deodorant, my 212/armani perfume & an extra shirt just in case.

but still, this is so much better than the irish weather.

went to midvalley just now. initially x plan nak beli apapun, but then saw some really nice shoes n mcm nak beli. the price is really good. tgk2, takde size, i have to cut one size kalo nak jugak. so, in the end tak beli jugak. hmm...

today i had this thought of people around me, of people i normally have conversations with and of people who i consider as friends within my social circle.

• is a friend really a friend when they choose not to go that extra mile when ur in need of help.
• is a friend really a friend when they promise u that they'll do anything within their power to ensure ur stability but choose to chicken out when the helping hand is needed
• and could a friend even be called a friend if they intentionally do things that could potentially risk u to ur deepest fear?

hence, i've come to realise that a friend is a powerful term that is use very loosely. for all u know, we're could be merely acquantainces & not friends. i.e, kita hanya kenalan, bukannya kawan.

is now @ starbucks The Weld. tunggu my friend dee to finish up her work, then we're heading off for dinner...

terror giler chucok cari my house. dh la malam pulak tu... tp yg lebih menarik, kwn yg die bwk tu happen to be my former classmate masa kajang high. kecik betul dunia. pusing2 jumpe balik.. hehe

oh lupe lak, masa sampai kat airport cork tu, jumpe ramai gak la

kak faies, darlene, hakim, kak gya, bahij, fairuz, asma'... huhuh, sumer pun tanye pasal result. result sendiri tak kisah la sgt tp result orng lain tuh mcm serba salah pulak nak ckp.. huhu

anyway, masa dlm flight, there's two australian i think yg duduk belakang my seat. then die call stewardess ni.. n immediately cakap... "saya cintakan anda.... maafkan saya.." so sweet !

had my roti kosong & teh tarik kurang manis today !!!

a very hectic day. sampai jer rumah punggah barang, then x sempat nak buat ape2 pun. had lunch dkt cyberjaya, an arab restaurant. mango juice die mmg terbaekkk la.... (slurp)

then went tu subang jaya, holiday villa for a preview. fuhh... penat. malam skit la baru ade masa nak blogging n usha facebook. tp jap lagi plan nak keluar pulak.. hehe

love story when the romeo sings along.

the apology

when u arrive at the ending, u can't help but to think of the beginning. so, to my dear housemates - i'm sorry for every wrong doings that i've done throughout the year.


thank u for everything.

ilman aiman

i don't know what will happen in the future,
i don't know where i'll ended up later,
i don't know when i'm going to see u again,
i don't know who else to talk to,
i don't know why am i writing this,
i don't know how to put this nicely,
i just don't know...

fed-up no longer

Federer defeated world number one & clay court king Nadal 6-4, 6-4 to win the Madrid Masters. after so long, at last... triumph against nadal!!!

mad money

tonight i played poker like i never played before. i go mad & all in. i won. i lost, i won again, lost more and this was like 80000 chips going back & forth between us. and fortunately, i won the last round with a higher card.

sometimes, going crazy can be rewarding if ur lucky!

ok. no more poker. sila study!

i've talked to mama & i feel so much better now =D

mama always know what to say & when to say them...

i don't know why but it recent months i have increasing interest on soccer. i would love to play soccer but knowing that my skill is limited, i tend not to be so vocal about it. also, i feel a bit uncomfortable playing with a group of people that im not close to. segan la..

one of these days, i just wish i could play soccer regularly, like proper soccer & not be intimidated by other players. tapi, would they tolerate my lack of skills & not be disappointed if my performance isn't up to theirs?? deep down, i'm really hoping that by any chance, those who play really well could give me some pointers and wouldn't mind teaching me so that i be more competent.

... i really want to play and i don't think any of them realise this.

poker is no longer fun. i wish i have more chips to burn. my little savings are running out day by day. and it's hard because i bet upon chances and so far only few have been properly rewarded. maybe, it's time to burn it all & call it quits.

the big players can afford to raise and lose it. i just don't have that privilege. not yet.


*tiba2 rasa sedih & rendah diri. nak main pun x semangat. xde geng pun

amne (abng munir) is coming back! but only for 3-4 days jer. he works as an architect in aussie atm and we haven't met for quite a long time. selalu balik x sama masa. i usually go back during the mid year (june) and he comes back every christmas!

and mom said that he makes the effort to come back in june this year just to see me. sweet kan?? hahah.

adakah saya seperti ini ?

*Sangat aktif dan dinamik. * Cepat bertindak membuat keputusan tetapi cepat menyesal. * Sangat menarik dan pandai menjaga diri. * Punya daya mental yang sangat kuat. * Suka diberi perhatian. * Sangat diplomatik (pandai memujuk ). * Berkawan dan pandai menyelesaikan masalah orang. * Sangat berani dan tiada perasaan takut. * Suka perkara yang mencabar, pengasih, penyayang, sopan santun dan pemurah. * Emosi cepat terusik. * Cuba kawal perasaan. * Kecenderungan bersifat pendendam. * Agresif dan kelam kabut dalam membuat keputusan. * Kuat daya ingatan. * Gerak hati yang sangat kuat. * Pandai mendorong diri sendiri dan memotivasikan orang lain. * Berpenyakit disekitar kepala dan dada. * Sangat cemburu dan terlalu cemburu*

is this bad? especially ayat2 yg dibold itu? mmg x boleh blah. hah.. xpela, semua pun ade baik buruk laku die. terima diri ini seadanya! dan saya harap mereka yg mengenali diri ini juga begitu! saya sedar saya tak sempurna.. (dah mula la ni.. tsk tsk)

today i met u again...
i had to turn my heart away
smiled like the sun
and pretend that everything was ok

and when i got back
i secretly wonder that
what if it was true?

if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be... tired of thinking the possibilities. better chin up and enjoy my remaining days.

senyum la skit...

sometimes it feels like i'm not just losing the war, but the battles along the way too. how could i compete with that? what are the odds of me prevailing? and this is disheartening because i hate walking around feeling all defeated & unworthy... and worse.. deep down i know that there's nothing much that i could do. even if i risk it, the odds would still not be on my favour ='(

i've just realise the potential complications that could arise. lets just hope that it settles. if not, chances are i'll be making a different turn from my initial plan.

takpelah, nak buat mcm mana lagi...

K.H.S 9701

little did i know that this group exist in my facebook circle. and the irony of it all is that all the admins who created the group were once my dear classmates. christopher who i think is now a doctor graduated from melbourne uni.. choo who is a successful pharmacist in tawau and chee leong who is now a qualified accountant.

wawee... got a reminder of the lubang jepun in KHS. heheh, actually x penah bother pun nak cari even though i'm aware of the existence. and when they talk about the makcik jual nasi lemak or mee soto in the canteen... i seriously have no recollection of any memorries regarding that. giler loser... what had i been doing back then in KHS?

anyway, i miss KHS. it may not be the prestigious boarding school that u can boast about, but it's my school. and that's all that matters. even now, it still feels surreal that a nobody form kajang high could ended up here alongside the graduates from other respective schools. thank u to my teachers....they tought us well. and lastly the motivating lines that we chanted whenever we feels like.

Everywhere we go..
People want to know..
Who we are..
Where do we come from..
So we tell them..
We are from Kajang High..
Mighty...Mighty KAJANG HIGH!!

tiba2 teringat lagu ni and the memories with it . it was in 1997. i was naive.

at first, i watched his performance because i like this song very much. tak kenal pun saper akim ni. then bila dh dgr.. mcm best la jugak. sempoi jer. iyerla, still nothing much to boast if compared with other establish singers but i think his performance was pretty decent. i like it.

boringnye !!!

tak tau dh nak buat aper. nak keluar malas pulak. dh lama x pegi gym. dulu ade bas pass senang skit. skrg ni aper pun xde. jalan kaki mmg out of the question la. ishhh. tensennye!

tiber2 rasa mcm nak main bola. tp xde geng. ='(

and to mama... happy mother's day!!!

aku dan mereka

izad n shahied dlm bilik. tgh karoke. multiple songs. belum habis lagu dh tuka baru..

i can't help but to think that, this simple moment, this unproductive time wasting moment is among the few things that i will miss .

ameen dkt dapur tgh makan
nik dalam bilik. study kot. die rajin.
and me, aku tgh duduk mengadap diorang karoke. nak study mcm x sesuai pulak. heheh, xpela.. bukannya lama pun masa dgn diorang yg tinggal. aku pun nak balik malaysia dh.

somebody said that all of us are special in our own way. semua masak sedap. takda yg lebih. takde yg kurang. lately, aku rajin skit masak. slalunya malas. ntah kenape.

oh... sekarang lagu hot and cold - katie parie. they are enjoying themselves. letting loose and just give it all.

i don't know how to conclude this entry. tak sampai hati rasanya. sebab bila aku titik kan tanda noktah maka berakhirlah semua ini. permulaan yg baru. a new chapter kata semua. hopefully, kita semua berjaya and we remain as tight after leaving 75.

what is life if there's no drama. when boredom creeps in with the somber looking face... where's the fun in that?

interestingly, all this while, i have never gotten emotionally involved when watching a soccer match. but yesterday's game, i was feeling anxious, waiting in agony for barca to kick it off. it was certainly a painful experience and the restlessness was getting a little too much.

now, i understand, why my housemates are getting all excited and frustrated when their team perform or off form. it really feels like ur part of the team and u want them to win it so bad. so apologies if i ever criticised their spirit by saying it's just a game. because, as far as i can see it now, it is more than that. it carries thousands and millions of hope from people all over..

and now, i can't wait to watch the final! eh i pun x sure ade astro sports tak dkt my tv?? tapi kalo xde pun, leh jer lepak mamak layan bola sambil minum teh tarik kurang manis! heheh...

bundchen & barca

i always have a thing for gisele. she looks insanely hot in this pic. low cut dress with killer legs to match !! sexy.

and oh, i'm so happy that barca moves into the final. wheew... it was painful to watch them not having a shot on until the 93rd minute and they scored!. mwahh... i luv u barca!! and hopefully the final later will be a match to remember. tak kisahla saper menang asalkan it's a tight match! viva barca!!!

made a fool of myself tadi masa study group. u know when the heat is a little too much, then mula la u let loose and do silly things. the capacity to pick up more info pun dh saturated dh. nasib baik my study grup pun, ade several people yg like me.


tak tahan bila one of my grupmates ckp, xpe aiman aku paham.. orng lain tak tau la pulak! tapi, thankfully ade study grup ni, study la jugak walaupun the pace to mcm slow giler!

n dgr lagu ct tadi, heheh....

tertarik part ni,

apa salahkah jika aku meminta,
apa salahkau jika engkau ternyata...

zee avi

zee avi... heard about her recently through a forum. then, yusma reinforced her existence and her talent. then suddenly,tergerak hati nak dgr her music playlist.

and she blows me away. but the thing about her is that her voice is neither majestic nor powerful. and i'm still in doubt whether she can sustained a high note very well. but the beautiful thing about her music is that it's relatable and real. there's no touchy feely kind of lyrics with soapy agendas behind them.

i like her songs so far. she's good. but i need more stuff to hear before i make a definite judgment.

maybe this is it. things changed. it's a bit sad but there's nothing much that i could do. it's not my call to say. we all have our priorities. we have things to do and we move forward.

so, lets just hope that tomorrow brings better and brighter days for our respective ventures.

am eating a lot of chocs atm. rasa rendah diri, gundah gulana, jiwa kacau dan seangkatan dengannya. even then, still rasa a bit depress. and this time, it's because of a different reason. kene tido la nampaknya. try to sleep on it...


am having this feeling again. ooh.. i hate this part!!

even though on numerous occasions, i vow to be more cut throat and selfish but when it comes do to the damaging act itself, somehow... i just couldn't do it.

and it's not because i'm a nice person. i know i have my fair share of mistakes, but to intentionally hurt somebody.. i couldn't.

i guess when ur coming to an end, u start to think back of the beginning. people may come & go in ur life but true friends will remain. i wouldn't want to feel awkward if i see u within the next few years and not knowing what to say. and worse, if i'm not even bothered..

but it takes great effort to remain as close friends. as much as i want to, there is only so much that i can do. i can text u, call u, asking how ur doing, what's up and other small little chats that i do to keep tract of ur life... but if ur not interested, then what more can i say...

it'll be sad to think that after this, chances are that we could end up as strangers to one another..

i feel so much better today... looking forward to a great week ahead!

i have to do what i have to do. i tried to do good, but people remain doubtful. i tried to be civil but to no avail.

i tried, i tried & i tried... to a point where i'm getting tired..

and to whom it may concern, i'm sorry if i lash it out on u. it has been a stressful week, and i try to keep it together and contain it all. but when u did that, i just lose it. u don't deserve that. it's not ur fault.

ismail mohd noor

around this time of the year, it's been about 15 years since father left. and ever since, never has there been a day that i didn't think about him.

with the graduation coming up, i just wish that he can be here...

to say the words that i'm dying to hear.
to hear him say that "i'm proud of you, son" means everything to me.
i want him to be happy.
i want to do him justice.
he is such a respectable & honourable man.
and i want to emulate that as much as i can.

i want to hold his hand
i want him to pat my back
and say that i lived to his expectations
i want him to be there
to share my moments of joy and happiness

and when i'm sad and need a shoulder to cry on
i want him to say that everything is going to be ok
and protect me from the big bad world
like he used to when i was younger..

and i want to pay him back
for the great things that he had done
to take care of him
the way he has taken care of me
with undying love and patience...

ayah.. i miss u and i will always do. Al fatihah

one my classmates/friend dh nak kawen dh.. huhuh.. that guy is one lucky man!

above all this, i wish them nothing but the best for the beautiful years ahead. congratulations nang!

the day when i cried my heart out

i don't know why i get so emotional these days. perhaps, the anxiety of the exam has really taking it's toll on me. little2 things that normally wouldn't have bothered me that much seems to break me easily.

and the worst part is that people don't really care. there are always more important things to deal with. i wish i could do the same and stop caring that much about others. i just feel so alone rite now and nobody to talk to. i feel very vulnerable and out of place. the cut is always deeper when ur close.

i really wish that dad is here to knock some sense into me, to set me up straight and be resilient to this kind of atmosphere. ayah, ilman rindu ayah...


mama... mama

just an observation, so far, very few people are willing to go behind the wheel and be the driving force. we always lean on other people's initiative...


and if u want to save lives.. be a doctor.
but if u want to save millions of lives at a go... be an epidemiologist. this is why we need public health.